Hokey. That’s what I thought when people asked for prayers. Why would God care if one person versus one hundred people prayed for the same thing? It almost seemed superstitious to me-prayer by numbers.
In the last year, God has said “no” to almost all of our prayers. We didn’t get a base on our list. When we realized we would have to be re-stationed because of Anderson’s diagnosis- we again- didn’t get a base on our list. When we prayed that the hole in Anderson’s heart would close- it didn’t. I could go on.
I’ve written about my faith story before. It’s a common one. I had a bad church experience growing up and thought that all Christians must be hypocrites. But as I read the Bible myself, went through an intensive study course and did my own research-I had a change of heart. It was gradual, but dramatic.
But there was still the issue of prayer that I couldn’t wrap my head around. Of course, I was starting to see the benefit of individual prayer, but I wasn’t really sure if it mattered if people prayed for me. Prayer request time was always my least favorite time of any small group.
But today. The day I had to hand my sweet 5 month old over to doctors who would crack open his chest and cut into his heart, today I felt the amazing power of prayer.
I envisioned what it would be like, handing Anderson over to the OR team. I thought I would sob. I thought I would sit down and cry as they rolled him away. But the tears didn’t come. I thought as I sat in the waiting room for 5 hours, I thought they would be the darkest, scariest and loneliest of my life. They weren’t.
The strength was not my own. The peace was not my own. It was He whose power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9) I believe that power was even more consuming for us today because of the hundreds of prayers being said for us around the country.
We still have a long road ahead. Although the surgery went smoothly, it’s the recovery that is the most concerning part. Although we feel peace, there is still trouble. It is not easy seeing your baby sedated. It is not easy seeing my normally happy boy wincing in pain. It is not easy seeing him connected to multiple wires full of drugs I can’t pronounce.
Yes, there is heartache. But even in the pain, even though there’s a whole country separating us from family and friends, I have never felt more surrounded by love. Even though we are in the middle of a severe hardship, I have never known this kind of peace.
I have your prayers and a God who loves my precious son to thank for that.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Phillipians 4:6-7
Anderson update:
As I write this Anderson is still sedated. He cries out in pain every once in a while. The surgery went very well and the breathing tube is out which is a really big step. We are told that we are in for a very long night as he comes out of sedation. We know he will be in a lot of pain. Please continuing praying for him. -6/18/15
