See this woman? I used her.
Why? Because I had nothing to give her. Days after I met Janelle, I became empty. But, she stuck around anyway. She was the friend who didn’t have to be.
We were connected because our husbands both had orders to the same small, remote base. We had only met each other a few times when my new doctor said those seven words forever etched into the darkest part of my soul, “You don’t have to be a hero…” He thought because my son had Down syndrome, his life was not worth living. So, I lived as if a death had taken place.
I thought his diagnosis was the tragedy of my life. I was wrong. But, it doesn’t change the fact that I thought it, felt it, grieved in that way for months.
I hid in my new unpacked house; she came over anyway. I cried tears over this complete stranger. She was the friend who didn’t have to be.
She was going through things, too—brand new mom, new to the military and living away from her family for the first time in her life. And yet, she pushed her problems away to help me with mine.
She knew I couldn’t help her, but she cared for me anyway. I was rock bottom, but she did her best to pull me up. I gave her nothing, but she kept giving. She was the friend who didn’t have to be.
Thank you to the friends who don’t have to be. (Continue reading…)
Behind the post:
It’s so counter-culture. We’re told relationships should be equal. But, rarely are they ever 50/50. I’m not suggesting we let people use and abuse us, but I am suggesting there are times when we should carry the relationship load. There are times when we are called to care for friends who can’t be great friends to us. I’m thankful Janelle saw this. I had no one but her. She only knew me in the darkest time of my life. In fact, I’m not sure she drove more than two hours to come visit me recently, but I’m so glad she did. I’m so thankful for her friendship. I’m so thankful she acted as a stepping-stone to my recovery.
