To the Moms in the Middle

Posted: 6 years ago

To the Moms in the Middle

To the Moms in the Middle,

I know you have friends who knew they were meant to be stay-at-home moms and others who knew they would absolutely be working moms.

You’re happy for them, but you don’t fall into either category.

You’re a mom in the middle.

I’ve seen you struggle with your identity as you change babies and chase toddlers. I’ve seen you find work that allows you to find a bit of yourself behind a computer screen as your babes still sleep in the wee morning hours and in small spurts throughout the day. I’ve seen you take on full-time home duties and office responsibilities.

You’re pulling double-duty and wondering why stay at home at all if you work so much?

Because one day on your epitaph you hope it reads, “She tried her best, but was there for everything.”

We want the first steps, post-boo-boo kisses, and after-school greetings. And yet we can’t shake the need to use our talents beyond the call to motherhood.

Drop the guilt. Your kids may not get 100% of your time, but without your work, they wouldn’t be getting the 100% you.

Perhaps you don’t feel comfortable working full-time or being a full-time stay-at-home-parent because that’s not who you were meant to be.

And your kids need you, the full version. Because that’s the mom who they were meant to have.

I know it feels like you are pulled in all directions, but rest assured you have found your spot on the map.

You are trying your best, but are there for everything.

Let this be enough.

Love,

A Mom in the Middle

*Wow, I feel this post needs an asterisk. There is no one way to mom. I repeat, stay-at-home-moms vs. working moms vs. work-from-home moms- none of these are better than the other. An old co-worker of mine, Kara Gormley, called me recently. She told me how a new mom friend of hers felt in the middle. Kara does contract work and so do I. She pointed out that she doesn’t feel like there are a lot of resources for us moms in the middle. She said to me, “I think one day my epitaph will read, “She tried her best, but was there for everything,” and I just thought it summed up this life choice beautifully. It’s hard work, it’s chaotic, it’s beautiful.

Jillian Benfield

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