Working Mom Vs. Stay-At-Home Mom: The Debate with No Winners

Posted: 9 years ago

Working Mom Vs. Stay-At-Home Mom: The Debate with No Winners

A blog post and article posing the question: is it better to be a stay-at-home-mom or a working mom?

Since May, I have been keeping a part of my life absent from this blog. I wasn’t sure where this new venture would take me.

When Anderson turned 3-months-old, I realized I was missing part of myself. You might think, with a not-quite two-year-old and an infant, it would be the exact wrong time to get back into the work force. But for me, that wild part of my life made me realize I could handle more. That I wanted more.

I wanted the ambitious part of my personality back.

Some moms find this by putting that old work energy into their kids. And I do. I devote myself to Anderson’s therapy, Violet’s learning and trying to make sure my kids get a dose of fun every day. But it wasn’t quite enough.

I realized I fell in between the full-time working mom and the stay-at-home mom. Neither seemed to fit.

With a little luck and really—God, I started working for a Public Relations firm. Right now, I work very part time (contract) hours from home.

I find on weeks when I don’t have much work to do, I miss it. I’ve also found that on those weeks, I’m not always the best mom I can be. Why? Because I’m not the best version of myself.

I’ve seen the debate on both sides. I’ve seen my stay-at-home-mom friends complain about people judging their life choice. I’ve seen my working-mom friends complain about the same thing. Apparently no one is winning.

Here’s the question I think we need to ask ourselves as mothers: What makes me the best me? Because ultimately—whatever the answer is, is the key to unlocking what will make us the best mothers to our children.

For some, it’s working 9-5 in an office with other adults. For others, it’s staying at home with kids full time. For me, it’s a little of both.

Before I started working in PR, my kids would go down for a nap in the afternoon, and I’d find myself needing. Needing to fill a small void in my life.

I think sometimes we have to listen to desires that don’t go away. Because, maybe it’s God’s way of showing us the direction He wants us to walk in.

Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:6 NLT

There’s more to this story. To be continued Sunday…

If you’d like to read about what I’m doing and the amazing company I work for, click here.

Jillian Benfield

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The Gift of the Unexpected

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