When I was told my 4-month old needed open-heart surgery, I wanted the God of miracles.
Instead, I found a God who most often does His work through the hands of ordinary people called to the extraordinary.
When I found myself bleeding while 8-weeks pregnant, I wanted the God of rescue.
Instead, I found the God who makes His presence known when the world fades to black.
When I found myself pregnant again with a baby who would require fetal intervention surgery, I wanted the God of fair.
Instead, I found grace- somehow helping me move forward in hope after experiencing the unexpected once again.
Time and time again, I have wanted the God of deliverance. And time and time again I have found the God of Instead.
The Divine may not work the way we want him to. Instead, he surprises us by stepping in with people he puts in our paths. Instead, he surprises us with wrangling goodness out of the unimaginable. Instead, of changing our circumstances, he often changes us.
When I am disappointed that I can’t find the God of certainty, I remember we have a God so big he cannot fit into the boxes we create for Him.
I breathe in deeply and remember this God who broke through humanity and suffered with us and for us. I remember that I am held, I am loved and I am made new by the God of Instead.
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2 thoughts on “I wanted the God of Rescue but found the God of Instead”
This is so incredibly profound and beautiful. I have been desperately seeking continued deliverance and miracles in particular even after what He has already done. This propels me to seek Him more because of who He is, and to know Him more instead of essentially demanding more. I want to know God as you describe Him in this last paragraph, the God of Instead. Thank you.
Thank you for such a heartfelt reminder.